October 31st, 2013

Darling I love you.

Please don’t leave me.

I don’t know who I am without you.

June 19th, 2012

I am shaking

How dare you.

How dare you talk to another girl about those things.

How fucking dare you tell her about how you want her to wear yoga pants so that you can look at her ass.

You don’t get to have tickle fights with some other girl!

You don’t get to tell this girl WHO LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE AS YOU that you two would have had SEX by now if you were single.

Gee no wonder I was fucking uncomfortable with how often you were texting.

Apparently the only time you talk to her about me is to bitch about me.

Maybe we shouldn’t be together.

Then you can bone this bitch all you want.

How fucking dare you.

April 8th, 2012

I would like to tell you

That I love you.

But I’m scared that I will freak you out.

March 10th, 2012

It would be nice…

If when I got home from being at work all day.

And you have been at home doing nothing but playing video games.

If you could take a break and actually talk to me instead of your friend over your PS3.

Just sayin’.

February 23rd, 2012

Happy 2 month asshat

Have fun spending it with your friends.

I’ll see you in … like 34 fucking hours.

January 23rd, 2012

My boyfriend

Basically lives with me, right?

He went home Thursday to get a tattoo, didn’t come back till like 5pm Saturday.

Was here, dropped some shit off and then was like, “Evan wants me to go to Meijier with him to get stuff for Beth’s pajama party tonight so I’m gonna go do that and then I’ll be back to chill for a bit before I leave again.”- prolly paraphrasing

He leaves, finally comes back and is like, “Well I guess he actually wants to head over there pretty soon so I’m just gonna grab some stuff and go.”

(I had to go to bed at like 9pm to be to work at 6am)

Then Yesterday (Sunday), I get out of work and hes like “well actually I’m pretty busy till 6 then I have a meeting and after that I have another meeting and Idk how late it’ll be when its over.” 

So I said, “Well, if you can’t make it back here by 9pm you’d better hope the roomies let you in or plan on crashing somewhere else cuz I have to be in bed by 9.”

He said he’d have to crash elsewhere. I said fine, guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow night then.

He skipped class. And told me that he had to go shopping with some of his Frat brothers to get prizes for this thing they’re doing for rush. And that he’d prolly just crash somewhere else tonight.

Motherfucker, I have seen you for like a total of 2 hours since Thursday. If you don’t bring your happy ass back here tonight I will fucking disown you. I don’t have to be asleep early tonight. Come back home where you fucking belong and spend some goddamn time with your girlfriend who has had a really shitty past couple days and would like to fucking see your face. 

Please and Fuck you— Sam.

December 12th, 2011
Thanks for forgetting your shirt. I look cute in it :p

Thanks for forgetting your shirt. I look cute in it :p

November 9th, 2011

So Confused.

Last night he stayed over and we cuddled. I mean really cuddled. Like both of his arms wrapped around me holding me tight and rubbing my arm cuddled.

We don’t usually cuddle like that. Its usually him half ass draping his arm over my side.

I know that he knows I like him. He told me he deciphered a drunk text I sent him. 

But he’s still my best friends ex… and my little.

I just… I don’t know how to interpret it.

Are we still just hooking up? Or, is this becoming something more?

I know I’m going to have to confront him soon. I can’t just keep hooking up with him, I care about him too much.

What do I do?

November 6th, 2011

I loved him: Part 2

Brad, was so emotionally damaged from his ex girlfriend. Anytime he had like sexual desires she would make him feel like he was wrong and disgusting for it. So Brad had so much anxiety about sex. Seriously, you could not change positions on this kid because he freaked out and lost his boner. The only time he could really enjoy sex was when we were drunk because he didn’t freak out. But alcohol affected him really weirdly after he had sobered up. He would just be really down and he usually cried. 

I use to wake up in the middle of the night to Brad crying. Or we would be laying down to go to bed and he would just start crying for no reason. 

Needless to say, he also dealt with depression.

I know how to pick em, eh?

But, we had a really great relationship even with all of his emotional drama. At the end of January I took a trip to his hometown with him to go to Winterfest and watch him play broom ball. So I spent the weekend with his family and all day Saturday standing outside in the freezing cold watching him hit a ball with a broom.

Saturday night (Sunday morning technically) I woke up to Brad crying. He had had a really weird dream that set him off. He told me that he thought he was going to die alone and that he didn’t love anyone (no offense to me) and that he didn’t know if he would ever be able to tell anyone he loved them again.

So, of course I hadn’t said it to him because I was pretty sure he would freak the eff out but I did love him. So what he had said definitely got me thinking. How did he mean that? Did he mean that he didn’t think he would ever love anyone again? Or did he just mean that he would never be able to say ”I love you?”

He cried almost the entire drive home, to where I was asking every ten minutes, “Do you want me to drive??” 

Later that night, on January 30th he texted me, “Hey, are you busy? We need to talk.” He came by my place and I went out to his car and he started driving around the parking lot and was still crying. Then he said it, “this isn’t working.” He went on to say that we were two different kinds of people and that I was a poor communicator. He then asked, “Don’t you have anything to say?” (I had been just staring straight ahead trying to hold  back the tears.) And I said, “Why? Nothing I say is going to change the way you feel.”

It took 2 weeks before he would meet up with me to exchange stuff. Said that “he needed time.” Which is stupid. You broke up with me, you don’t get time. Oh, and then when we met up to exchange stuff and we were parting ways, he literally asked me for a hug.  How cruel do you have to be to break someones heart, and then want to hug them?

I’ve been single for almost a year now. The 30th is a Monday… I’m gonna get black out drunk watch lifetime movies and cry. Anyone want to join?